I've only had five real relationships and quite a few casual dating expereinces. However I'm pretty certain I understand the key to having a perfect flawless relationship. First I'm going to point out, what everyone else thinks about after a relationship FAILS!
Girls are first of course, they generally complain about they guy. Even if the guy DUMPS THEM, either way even if they do the DUMPING. This is what most women say regarding to what happened with the previous guy.
1. He was a jerk
2. He isn't into commitment OR commitment problems
3. He just wants sex OR all men are dogs
4. Man-whore, I was just next on his list
5. All the nice guys are either gay, married or just not into relationships.
and the list goes on BUT do they ever just think about the obvious...
IF YOU HAVE SO MANY FAILED RELATIONSHIPS, maybe the problem is something constant...most likely the problem is YOU
YOU are the one dating all these guys, who may use YOU, abuse YOU and finally dump YOU. In the end though it is all YOU,YOU are the only recurring factor in the situation. Of course it can't be YOU, you're perfect, you did everything right flawless...if so then why are you SINGLE and why do you have such bad luck in relationships, seriously check yourself...
This goes for both men and women though, cause honestly if something is happening enough to you, the problem is MOST LIKELY YOU!!!
NOW
I'm going to lay down how a relationship is suppose to work, COMMITMENT, COMPASSION, CONNECTION, INTMACY and TRUST these are all needed for a relationship to work, without ONE it WILL FAIL!!! WITHOUT ONE OF THESE THE REALTIONSHIP WILL DIE!!!
Commitment - Being with this ONE person and no other, it's that simple. Openly flirting and mingling with others is not commitment, it's cheating. Anything you do with someone that you will not communicate with others it's cheating...CHEATING!!! Seriously commitment is important but ALONE IT'S USELESS!!! Your relationship will still crash and burn...with this alone...
Compassion - The tiny flare in the relationship can not die. Doing all the things you did in the start to attract eachother these things should not vanish, they should be continued. Keeping it fresh and alive, compliement, being sweet to eachother and just keeping everything fresh. This is important in making sure it won't get boring and you can still maintain the longing feeling with-in a relationship..because when people don't feel LOVE they will CHEAT!!!
Connection - It's simple, you don't connect with someone it's not gonna work. You'll have this akward feeling of why you two are together and will start to drift apart...when you notice you connect better with other people than your partner something is very OFF! Which can lead to cheating seriously...it's not hard for people in relationships to DRIFT and CHEAT!
Intamcy - Being able to communicate your inner most thoughts and concerns. To be close with your partner and trullly enjoy being with them, to want to be with them and not think of it as a chore. This is needed, this is how you get close, the kissing, the hand holding...this is the stuff relationships are made of...along with connection/communication but then if thats all it is...you might aswell be friends...when you can honestly connect and feel a sense of security with the person you are with you are SAFE!!! Your realtionship will not fail...but if you do this with others, check yourself...you are SCREWING UP!
Trust - This is a no brainer, you don't trust eachother..nothing can happen...honestly trust is the last portion of a relationship...without this there is no relationship, just end it seriously...If you can't trust yourself to be faithful, honestly you are screwing up...
You see notice how all these things have to do with the BOTH OF YOU!!! I didn't mention oh it's a fail relationship is shes a b**** or hes a jerk...NO that's personality nonsense you can get over than if you have these other factors...being in love and in a relationships allows you to look past TRIVAL BULL and move on to loving the person you are with...
and honestly
BONUS!!!
CHEATER or just CHEATING - Is cheating for you...
!. Do you feel guilt or remorce after cheating?
2. Do you continue to cheat, depite other feelings or displays of affection to your real lover?
3. Do you question your desire?
Simple three questions ask yourself that and you can honestly tell if cheating is for you...cause there are people who do it like a sport and feel pride and afterwards..not me T_T I don't cheat but honestly they are out there..and the thing that sucks is...UNLESS THEY TELL YOU!!! You'll never know...
BUT
If you aren't a cheater and you are just cheating, then yes there is still hope for you just don't do it...AGAIN...there aren't many places for second chances when cheating but it happens and you can't mope about it....
Anyways..I'm signing off....JUST REMEMBER....
If your friendships/relationships are failing a lot maybe not everyone is a loser and maybe your ex lover wasn't a slut...maybe it's just you...maybe you need better game, a new attitude, stop taking things so seriously, don't be clingy or be more independent...honestly we can all change for the better or worst...but SERIOUSLY...
It's not them, it's YOU.....so fix it.
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