Surveillance of your Significant Others Cellphone Activity

Someone asked me a question and as much as I hate to deviate for my typical format this one is sort of interesting. In this case, it’s hard to come out “winning” as Charlie Sheen would put it. You see the question I was asked was. IS IT WRONG TO GO TROUGH A SIGNIFICANT OTHERS PHONE WITHOUT PERMISSION, IS IT JUTSFIBLE OR A DEAL BREAKER? Now I find this as interesting question because there are many ways to approach this.

I have one example.

“Marsha Moore Anderson just happens to be on her boyfriend’s facebook. While there, she knows she should close it and respect his privacy, but she doesn’t. Without even suspecting anything, she’s just curious you know, she goes through his messages. A couple pages in she finds out he’s been cheating on her with, say her best friend and they’ve sent pictures of themselves to each other. The power of facebook.”

Now you see in this case, yes her boyfriend is in the wrong, but so is she. She can’t just go up to him and confront him, because what is she doing going through
his stuff? This is where the key aspect trust comes into play. Marsha shouldn’t have
been so damn nosey and her boyfriend should be more faithful. Both of them have displayed a lack of trust and decency, I guess that’s why it works lol I’m kidding.

A relationship only works when there is trust.

Do I think it’s wrong to go through a significant others phone? Yes.

It’s none of your business.

Even till this day and I don’t know if this is just me, but anything to do with my girlfriend’s phone and her personal connections, I stay out of it. If her phone rings, I’ll tell her, I won’t look to see who it is. It’s not my business. If she misses a call, I won’t see who called her; I’ll tell her she missed a call. It’s not my business. Text message and any sort of message, a heads up is all that is needed. It’s not my business, why do I feel the need to know who is the contact? I don’t.
If you trust your partner, you don’t need to go through their phone.

Let trust look at that phone.

You are looking at the phone without trust.
“I just want to make sure, they aren’t cheating on me.”

You sitting your ass down and letting trust look at the phone.”
“Hey, I know you want to check but honestly come on, you know it’s all good, don’t worry about it. In fact, I’m looking at it now and there is nothing here.” IN FACT something you find stuff you shouldn’t even be reading.

1. Important family issues, that don’t concern you.
2. A tragic accident that happened to a friend.
3. Someone else’s personal concerns.
Yes a relationship requires honestly and full exposure, but that doesn’t include the personal aspects that friends share with you, then you end up losing their trust and no one is happy.

Now do I think it’s justifiable? Of course I do, in some instances. Someone who has cheated before, is most likely going to cheat again or is very capable of doing so. Think about it. People have thought of cheating and never go through with it. This person has and what’s stopping them really from doing it again? Oh they love you? They said that to the other person too. They would never do it? Oh yeah, get real. You think people in relationships go “oh by the way, I might cheat on you, I probably won’t but there is a possibility.”????? HELL NO! If a person has cheated before, you better keep your eyes on them.

If you suspect they are cheating. Your best bet isn’t to go through their phone. No, your best bet is to ask them. Try that real heart to heart talk, bring up concerns worries and questions motives, for things you don’t fully understand. If the story doesn’t add up, then whatever, I’m not looking. Though prepare for a backlash of anger and disgust, once you find out nothing is going on and you are just paranoid.

If you do plan on catching them and they are cheating, at least get them to confess…this behind your back stuff isn’t good for a relationship. Not to mention, this sort of approach is just going to carry onto your next relationship…
Then when you find someone who can’t take, they’ll end it with you.

Is this a deal breaker? Yes. If you trust me, why do you need to go through my phone? When one can answer that question, maybe we can change if it’s a deal breaker. Honestly think about it. If you believe people should fully expose themselves fine, whatever but seeing things in the light, means things in the dark also need to be seen. Relationship aren’t always brightly lit…you can’t see your significant other everywhere, you don’t know what they are thinking or doing half the time. Trust does though, when you trust someone, things are easier to deal with.

Not trusting someone, that trip to the grocery store…they are cheating on me.
Trusting someone, they are going to get the milk. It’s just easier to deal with it.

Who needs all this unnecessary stress?
In short, ask questions.

Going through a S.O. phone. Don’t do it.

Just work on trust and communication.
If you can’t do that, you probably are better off cutting your losses and moving on.

By: Michael Richardson


Image taken by Michael Richardson



LIKE THIS AND RE TWEET




Thank you :D

Questions from lovely people :) Part #6

Person asked:
why would a guy claim they really like someone, yet still fool around with others. even if theyre capable of getting into a proper relationship with the one they really like.

Michael answers:
There are a lot of reasons as to why one would pull the typical.

“I really like you, but” remark and I’ll list them out for you.

1. He wants to keep his options open. Ever heard of putting all your eggs in one basket? Let’s say he does do that, one day he just messes up and drops the basket, bye bye eggs. Let’s say that basket is faulty and just breaks, once again, bye bye eggs. Let’s say he leaves the basket of eggs for abit and some other guy comes around and starts trying to make those eggs hatch, o_O *what?* I don’t know…all I know is, if anything happens to that basket or those eggs…it’s bye bye eggs.
If you send all your troops to war, you risk having them all shot down my machine guns and alertly fire. If you dedicate all your time to one girl, you risk losing her, having your heart broken, time wasted and lose out on so many other opportunities.

Now you’re thinking “BUT WAIT!? Don’t you have a girlfriend, why do you seem so against commitment?” I’m getting to that.
When one can look past the other opportunities because the person they are with is worth it…then it works. That’s when your troops come back, won the war and you celebrate…

This guy could honestly just be thinking.

“Hey, she’s cute and I like her. Then again, I want to keep my options open. That girl over there is checking me out and I got a date with so and so, you know I don’t know if I want to get all comfy and cozy with this one girl.
It sucks but it’s true. If this is the case that girl better make it known she wants to be the only one and risk getting the B O O T because he wants B O O T I E S vs the one B O O T Y …

2. If he got out of a bad relationship, maybe he doesn’t want to jump back into one. Maybe he’s afraid it’s gonna be just like that last and he wants to save himself the trouble. Maybe his last girlfriend beat him with a broom stick after sex, I don’t know. A traumatizing past relationship, could effect a future relationship…dude might just have issues.

3. The worst. Maybe he’s just not into this girl. Maybe he knows she will cut once he tells her the truth. The truth that’s being hidden behind the…

“I really like you, I just don’t want to put a label on it.”
Which could just mean.

“I really like you, but honestly I like a lot of girls and I don’t want to mess up this nice little thing I have going with all the girls that like me. So I’m going to put my “relationship life” on cruise control and just “casually date” all of you…till something happens, because I’m not focusing on being “official” …

In short.

Life’s too short to be with one person.

Let’s all get goddesses like Charlie Sheen

I kid but seriously, I gave you the honest straight to the point answer...

Dude just might one more than one girl...wants to keep his options open...
And might be stringing you along and not respecting that you want more...

It's your call. You can always do better.

Tweet

Will you girls please just say NO! Some of us guys are a little confused.

This one is for the lovely ladies and the dumbstruck men. I was once like you men too, don’t worry. I once thought I was never rejected. I thought all the girls were crazy for me and they could only help but say yes. You know, because of my sexy deep voice, childlike undertone and over the top personality. I flatter myself, but I was wrong, no not about the complements. That is all true. I was wrong about never being rejected; apparently I was rejected quite a bit.

How could I honestly trick myself into believing I was never rejected though? It’s easy and there are plenty of guys that aren’t getting this fact and I’m going to make it very clear.

WOMEN HAVE A HARD TIME “OPENELY” REJECTING MEN!

They key word here is “openly/obvious” let me give you an example of an obvious rejection.

Jim: Would you like to go out with me?
Carla: No.

It’s a little on the blunt side, but Carla made it very clear, open and obvious. Read that again, she said no. Meaning she doesn’t want to go out. It’s that clear, open and obvious. No, no, no… there is nothing else to her response, she said no and she isn’t interested in going out with Jim.

Most men don’t get that response though, they get this thing.

Jim: Would you like to go out with me?
Carla: Um, can’t…

You’ve been rejected.

Note that any responses will only be valid once you A: Confirm a new date or B: She offers a new date.

Carla: Um, can’t…

I’m busy: This can mean anything and most of the time it’s missing something and that’s “I’m too busy…too hang out with you…but I can hang out with my friends, family, watch television, go on Facebook and just do nothing…just can’t see you…”

If she followed up with a nice

Carla: Maybe we can get together (insert a date here and no not a “sometime in the future or anything vauge…you deserve a day and a time.)

Or even

Jim: How about (another day and a time)
Carla: Ok sounds great

If she saids she can’t, don’t bother, move on…

You’ve been rejected.

If you did get a date and she didn’t answer your call to confirm, didn’t show up and
then gives you some lame excuse.

You’ve been rejected.

Many women don’t say NO. They are just being nice I guess, I’d rather they say no though. Think about it, the girls saids no, I can move on, it’s her loss.

NOW! If she saids ok, then doesn’t show up, she’s wasted my time and my efforts. That seems a lot harsher. If she saids ok, then gives me a fake number, that’s just harsh. She saids ok, then tells me at the last minute she can’t make it, no no no, that’s not right.

Guys, notice when a girl is rejected you, you aren’t stupid. If it seems like it’s hard to date a certain girl, like her schedule is dodging you and for some reason she can’t seem to make time or even try to make time, she’s rejecting you.
And girls.

Just make It clear, two letter word. Just say no.

You don’t want to give out your number, say no.

You don’t want to go out, say no.

We are past the no means yes stage…
Say no
and we will go

Tweet